One person who left a comment on my previous post said that I may be suffering from depression. Maybe I am. Maybe I have not yet realized that I am depressed but I may already be suffering from it. Hmmm... That's not a bad idea, you know.

But you see, when I am depressed, that's when I am really, really inspired to write. Well, not exactly inspired. Let's just say that I like my work better when I'm depressed. When I'm happy, you won't find me writing that often. Well, maybe I'm wrong and things have turned around and changed everything. I dunno.

Hmmm... Why don't I go over the signs and symptoms of a person sufferring from depression so I can check if I really am depressed...

Hmmm... Going through the list, it seems like I'm not depressed right now. Yey! But going through these signs and symptoms of depression remind me of those days not too long ago when I wanted to do nothing but just drink alcohol, sigh a lot, sleep late and wake up really early with only one thing in mind, and I was agitated really. It was also the time when I was losing 2 kilos a week (which I gained right back up after getting off that depression stage). Oh well.

I've got no more time for depression, ya know. But I'd like that change in weight stuff. That is, losing weight. Not gaining it.

I have not been in the mood to write for the past couple of weeks. If you have noticed, I have been able to blog at least once a day before and it ain't happening right now.

I don't know if I'm just too tired to blog when I've been going through blogs and editing blogs all day long. Or maybe if I'm just too lazy to think about something to write about. I know there are tons of things I can write about but I just don't have the spunk to do that. In fact, I'm just ranting right now. Nothing special.

I could tell you about the Desperate Housewives issue. I could tell you more about what's happening in Burma. I could tell you about how I could eat those yummy Chocovron (or whatever it is called). I could tell you about Tae-bo and all other things. I could tell you about learning that Paypal works in the Philipines and that I already have money in it. I could tell you about scrimping and saving to have those braces. I could tell you about my anxieties and worries that come next month, I'll probably be out of a job. But I ain't doing it. Not in the mood.

Maybe I'm too tired because I blog for a living and I blog as part of my daily duties. And I've just run out of creative juice and narrations for this blog. Maybe when something extra special happens. Or maybe when my kid does another 'trick'. I dunno. Or maybe when I stop downloading and playing those trial games, that's when I'll start splashing this blog with more entries.

But right now, nothing's special enough for me to deserve some space here. Or maybe this is just PMS. I dunno.

Dear Ky-Ky,

Yes, Ky-Ky. You call yourself Ky-Ky now. You don't call yourself Sky. Your Ninong Theon says that Ky-Ky reminds him of somebody and I'm not reacting to that though.

Anyway, I feel really blessed with you around. Yesterday, we celebrated your 2nd year in this Earth. You looked so grown up now in your orange Garfield shirt and shorts and you were eating your spaghetti on your own. Very much like a grown up kid.

Unlike last year, you had more fun this year with your playmates around. You were squealing and screaming in delight and you had fun when your playmates pulled you around when you were riding in the mini-bicycle that one of your titas gave you when you were still a couple of months old. Even when you tumbled over because of a wrong turn, you were still laughing and you were shouting, "Ky-Ky! Ulog!" (which meant "Nahulog si Ky-Ky!").

We were supposed to go to the mall so you could play at the motorbike that you wanted me to buy you. Since I didn't have money, I would have brought you to the arcade where you can take a seat behind any of the different rides there to your heart's content. But you fell asleep at home so I didn't wake you up.

When you woke up though, you had a temper and you wanted to turn on the TV. Of course, you couldn't because it wasn't plugged. You were screaming you wanted Barney and Elmo. So I took you upstairs and you were clapping and laughing with joy knowing that you can watch not only Barney and Elmo but Pampa as well. Your joys are so simple it makes me smile.

You didn't want your playmates to go home when their mom came over and asked told them that it was time to leave. Hearing that they had to go, you said, "Indi uwi." (which meant "Don't go home). Because it was your birthday, their mom gave them permission to stay later than usual.

When we were watching Pampa, I told you that you were one makulit baby. And you looked at me seriously and you said, "Indi baby." (meaning "Not a baby"). So I asked you what you were now. And you said, "Ig boy." (meaning "Big boy.") My little tot is now a big boy, huh.

You really are growing up so fast and yet you still continue to amaze me and keep not only me but all of us happy. I'm so happy that He sent you to me and I'm so happy that you're growing up alright. You are my blessing and you'll always be.

Be mabait and be a good son Ky-Ky.

Love you,
Mamu

Now that I'm reading a couple posts back, I'm thinking, "Where was my head?" Sure I do get emo some times and I hate it afterwards! Good thing I don't go emo when I'm drinking. Of course, getting emo happens. And it also happens to me. But I'm pretty thankful that with the kind of people I have around me, who needs SOs? Haha. Unless you're Johnny Depp maybe.

Anyway, here I am at home. This is the first time in three days that I have opened and used my computer. Really. I have been going home tired and with eyes almost dropping because I have been tutoring this kid who's my friend's son. And it's kinda fun. I just help him out with his assignments and that's it. Then I stay over for a couple of teleseryes and that's when I go home. And then I play with my kid who's been asking me for around a month now to buy him a motorcycle. He does not want just any kind of motorcycle. He wants the motorcycle that he can ride on. Sheesh! My little kid's growing up na talaga and I'm so happy.

Tons of revelations happened tonight. Hehe. We had fun squeezing our colleagues out of their secrets. Too bad there's nothing they can squeeze out of me. I would've had fun answering questions and being in the hot seat. Oh you know me. We were 12 in all and we had fun guffawing and laughing and singing and talking and drinking and joking and playing around. Thank God I have friends like that.

And so there are plans that we may be transferred to Manila before the year ends. And when that happens, I'd probably stay here in Legazpi. I'd find another job here. Or else I can take home-based jobs. Plenty of opportunities here. And yes, I'd still be traveling to and from Manila but that would be for fun. And so all of you who're in Manila, better be ready any time for my text messages might be coming and the next thing you'll know is that I'm telling you I'm in the Big City (not New York, of course).

Hay... With life being this happy, I'd probably not even find time to write really emo posts and really heart-breaking blogs. I promise you that when I'm happy, I write less. But when I'm frustrated or disappointed or hurting, that's when you'll find me spewing away the words (and my thoughts) like there's no tomorrow. Too bad.