I want my son to be complete. Well, he does have the love and the support and all the things that he needs right now. But he does not have a father. His real father that is.
His real father has decided not to include himself in the picture. I may want to include him but he does want to become a ghost to his own son and I just could not push him to involve himself. I don't care about him and me anymore. What is important now is that I want my son to know his roots.
My mom and my dad are always there for my son. That may be so however there is still a big difference between grandparents and parents. Grandparents are more lenient than parents are. So they say. And I am not the kind of person to have a relationship with a guy just for the sake of having a relationship. It may take months (and even years) before I do give my commitment to something, much more to someone.
Anyway, I'm pretty thankful still that my parents are willing to stand as parents to my son. I mean, I am often out working while my parents stay at home most of the time. They can give their full attention and care to my little one.
They say I am almost always out of the house and I don't have time for my son. But I really do try. You see, the difficult thing is that I live in my parents house and I need to. I do not have the resources to live on my own with a son to feed. So I cannot exactly have my say with regards to how I think of rearing a child. There'll always be other opinions and my son could always ask for cuddles from his grandparents after a scolding.
I know I should be over this kind of thing for it has been over two years already (including my pregnancy) that my son's father was gone. However, as time passes through, I just continually feel my son's need for a father. And I sometimes do ache when I see all those complete families out there wishing that my son had his own. But he does have a lot of Papas (in the form of my uncles and titos). But still...
Okay. I just wanted to let out whatever I was thinking. I mean, my son's birthday is coming up already and he's turning two. Oh time passes really so quickly the next thing I'll know is my son's already in school and he's looking for a father. And then I'll have to think of ways of how to explain to him that his Daddy is not his Papa.
I'm just hoping for the best for my son. And I hope he'll be fine and content without a Papa beside him. I think he's okay for now with just his Mamu.
I could very well just keep my silence and experience the rage boiling inside me alone. After all, everything about Cris Anthony Mendez and his death has already been told. What else did I have to write about?
But upon viewing this video from twoblogs, I decided it was my turn to keep him and the hope for justice alive. The video moved me to bits and I was thinking that watching that Cris Mendez video was just like watching all those videos of Rambo Guran and Cris Hugo (though I know that their deaths do have different circumstances from Cris Mendez's).
I am quite busy right now. I should take a couple of days off blogging but I can't. Blogging has become my outlet when I'm totally swamped with work. Like right now. I should be writing. Something. But here I am typing away the thoughts running through my head. Well, at least, this is going to be productive. I hope.
So this is actually a semi-I'm-going-to-be-on-blog-leave kind of thingie. But the blogging addict that I am, I sure will be back in just a couple of days. And I hope with some more stories. And I want a vacay! A real good one!
What Happens When You Down 4 Different Types of Liquor?
You get a really nasty hangover like the one I'm nursing right now.
This was all because of what my colleagues and I did last night. It was Maricon's birthday and I owed my team a dinner date because we reached our 100% mark. Okay.
We went to Ninong's. I wanted to go there because of their kinilaw. San Mig Light was sold there by the bottle and not by the bucket. The place was just not fine for me. I didn't like the whole bit. And yes, there was not kinilaw. I downed a bottle and a half of Red Horse (LIQUOR #1) and ate some sisig. The sisig was not as yummy was before. I remember Theon and I could finish a round of beer and even ask for extra rice with their sisig. But not with the kind of sisig that they have now.
Anyway, we decided to transfer to Chef's House. A bucket of San Mig Light was in order. I was not in the mood to drink more beer so I opted for a margarita (LIQUOR #2). The margarita did not taste that good. I'd rather have drunk Matador or Generoso. But I had to finish the whole thing and it was better than drinking more beer. I am not a beer person, that I'm so sure of.
Good thing there was kinilaw there. Yey! That made me happy.
Maricon and Jinky were drinking Infinit which was green tea flavored. I tried it and it didn't taste that good. Juliet was taking in serving after serving of her bottomless iced tea. I was also busy transferring the contents of Juliet's iced tea into another glass to be consumed as chaser. Haha. Charlie, Leonel, and Raziel were busy with their bottles of San Mig Light.
I finished the margarita. Juliet didn't want the Kamikaze that Charlie ordered for Maricon, Jinky, and Juliet. I took it. And drank that one (LIQUOR #3) this time. After I was done with that, I decided to drink the Infinit (LIQUOR #4) which was left half-consumed.
That night was totally fun and full of laughter and angst and sharing and stories. But it also left me with a totally aching head. Thank God for Advil and Coke.
I honestly love the song 'Jeepney'. I don't know why but I just love it. So much. I guess it's going to be the flavor of the month (if this lasts a month).
I don't know what made me love this song so much. Could you go ahead and read the lyrics and tell me just what I may be liking about the song?
Jeepney (by Spongecola)
Bumaba ako sa jeepney Kung saan tayo'y dating magkatabi Magkahalik ang pisngi nating dal'wa Nating dalawa
Panyo mo sa aking bulsa Ang amoy mo'y naroon pa rin Tawa nati'y humahalay Sa init nating dalawa
Subalit ngayo'y wala na Ikaw ay lumayo na
Naaalala ko ang mga gabing nakahiga sa ilalim ng kalawakan Naaalala ko ang mga gabing magkatabi sa ulan
Kulay nang iyong ngiti Tikwas ng iyong buhok At ang lambot ng iyong labi Iyong labi
Kahit anino mo sa malayo Ay nais masulyapan Upang mapawi Ang lamig
So... any comments as per why I may love the song? I'm totally stumped here. Must be this rotten hangover I'm nursing right now.
Who is Atomicgirl? Atomicgirl is a single mom who is currently jobless. Well, she does freelance SEO and writing jobs and that keeps her busy. She dreams of being a professional photographer and she dreams of owning her very own dSLR. She loves the Internet and she also collects movies, and good reads. She considers herself to be a fan of Johnny Depp and David Cook. At present, her constant source of happiness is her son, James Nicholas Sky, who is a bubbly and talkative two-and-a-half-year old. Although Atomicgirl graduated with a BA Communication Research degree, this feisty Bicolana is quite satisfied with the industry that she is involved in right now. She now lives in Legazpi City although she sometimes misses the fun times she had during her 6-year stay in the jungle of Manila. She is a woman. She is a writer. She is a mother. And she is most definitely not a saint.
And I am not the kind of person to have a relationship with a guy just for the sake of having a relationship. It may take months (and even years) before I do give my commitment to something, much more to someone. 
